It is really hard to talk about weight, especially for women. In fact, I was very uncomfortable as I was deciding on this topic for my next blog. But I think body image issue is really important to me and I am blessed to have a platform where I can share my experiences and struggles. Ultimately, if I can make one person feel better about themselves, feel beautiful, confident, and happy, then putting myself out there is worth it.
Almost every woman I know has said the words, “I need to lose weight.” The sense of hopelessness is always clear in their voice. If I could say one thing it would be, it’s not your fault. All our lives, we are told that we have to look a certain way to be liked. A perfect butt, a flat tummy, a thigh gap, or whatever other body part we’re supposed to have a perfect version of is attractive. Moreover we are also told that being a certain way says something about your personality. “If you are skinny, you are healthy and so on”.
And I totally bought it. It does not take long to experience first hand, how much emphasis is placed on women’s body image. I mean who has not thought, ” If I looked like her, I would get more attention, respect, and approval”? I have. This wrong belief projects that one looks a certain way because of their personal choice, and not because everyone is unique with unique body shapes.
But guess what? That is total crap. I spent far too many years, trying to fit myself into a box that I thought looked healthy on the outside. I treated my body like a math equation, counting calories, measured portions to be a certain number on the scale. For me, healthy was defined by a number. If I hit that number, I will be healthy and if I am healthy, I will be happy. I allowed this number to dictate my self worth.
It took me time to flip my mentality inside out. This is where the happy weight comes in. Happy weight is not a number but an equilibrium. For some people that is tall and slim, or petite, or curvy, or athletic. The point is that healthy is not one size, or one shape, or one weight.
To find my happy weight I had to forget about what I thought I had to look like. I had to understand that how I look is one of the least interesting thing about me. I have passions and big dreams that are more worth my time than the box I was trying to fit in.
To find my happy weight I had to stop counting. I had to stop counting calories, portions, and my weight. I have not stepped on scale for over 6 months. I have no idea what my current weight is. But I feel the happiest, and healthiest inside and out.
I learned to move and exercise because it feels good. I learned to eat food to make myself happy and not because it had less calories. It so happens that these foods that make me feel good are mostly fruits, veggies, nuts, and beans but once in a while are mac & cheese, tiramisu, and alfredo pasta. But at the end these little indulgences balances out. My body wants to be in equilibrium and I have stopped fighting with it.
I am not promising you that finding your happy weight is easy. But I can promise that it is worth it, because you are worth it!
Have you ever let weight or body shape define your happiness and self worth?